My Dream Land Paradise

I was going to attempt to write these at night so that I have time to let my day sink in and decide what was the most important thing I experienced or thought about during the day.  It's only half way through my day and I have had a very irritated conversation about a heated subject, finished watching Californication : The Complete Second Season which brought out many emotions, and I woke up this morning from a dream I found disturbing.  I also received my new Nikon camera in the mail and a high electric bill.  

It has been a busy day for me thus far.  In a little while I am taking my daughter to her BFF's dance birthday party and will be a guest chaperon.  I also have to manage to get the dishes done, and fix dinner for my guys before the girls head out.  At the day's half way mark, a lot of interesting things can still happen.  But for some reason my dream is at the top of the list.  No matter what else happens today, the thoughts and feelings of when I woke up will dominate in importance in my brain. 

In my dream I was in Hawaii.  I have never been, but in my dream it was paradise.  I was in a pair of small shorts and a bikini top which is my preferred way to dress on a hot summer day.  I could smell the salt water, I could smell the slight scent of ash and smoke in the air from the nearby volcano.  Everything seemed perfect.  The temperature seemed to be about 85 degrees Fahrenheit with a slight ocean breeze. 

I was on the phone with Nathan and the kids begging them to come and see me.  I am not sure what the circumstances were to lead me to be in Hawaii on my own, but in the conversation, Nathan was angry with me.  He told me that I wasted a lot of money on my vacation and it was selfish.  I again pleaded with him to leave the snow behind.  I told him how beautiful it was and how warm it was and again he relented. 

That is all I really remember.  I am not a dreamologist or a psychologist, but from my understanding dreams come from our subconscious, cellular memories, emotions, thoughts and other complexities of the mind and body.  I know that my dream in Hawaii came from my view of the weather report last night that said to expect snow and a wintry mix from Monday through Wednesday.  I am an extremely cold natured person and can not stand to be below 75 degrees, explaining the high electric bill.  I keep it blazing in the house with the electric baseboards and the wood stove. A few weeks ago I tried to escape the cold thinking that going to VA Beach and chilling in an indoor pool would give me the allusion and comfort of summertime.  Temporarily it may have, but I still came home to ice and snow.  It was still cold as we walked on the beach.  The indoor pool was warm but the room housing it wasn't a sunny 90 degrees.  I was just trying to trick myself.  I am miserable this winter.  The snow won't stop and the temps are not peaking above 40. 

The interpretation of my dream leads me to believe that winter is what it is.  I can't change it.  I do not have the resources to escape it.  Any mini vaca is just going to be all the more disappointing when I come back home.  I hate to think that I am doomed to the snow and cold, but realistically I am.  We do not have plans on moving to a sunnier location.  Nathan and the kids not coming was symbolism for reality.  I can't tell you how many times Nathan tells me to stop complaining about the cold.  He says, "this isn't different than any other winter."  He's absolutely right.  I will still try to argue though with come backs of...there is more snow this year, the temperatures are colder, I never had to wear so many layers and other stupid rebuttals that not only are stupid, but are just not true. 

For now, Hawaii and Florida will have to remain in my dreams and as long as it is this cold, that makes me all the more excited about getting enough sleep.